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And now, Adam and Joe.
Hey, this is Joe Cornish.
I'm joined here in the BBC 6 Music studio by Garth Jennings.
Hello.
Hello, Garth.
And we are both joined in a little studio in Norwich by Adam Buxton.
Hello, Mr Buxton.
Hello.
How are you doing?
We're doing fine.
We've just finished the live show and now these are the exciting links for the podcast.
Yes, exactly.
And what a show it was.
It's very hard to tell what's actually going to be included in the podcast this week because a certain amount of it has got clearance issues.
That was our
are Song Wars songs, which were remixes of the radio head track Reckoner.
As we speak, we're trying to clear them for this podcast, but if that doesn't happen, then you'll be able to hear them if you listen again to the whole show.
The other thing was that my brain seemed to be in quite a smutty place for the program.
and various bits of smut just came out.
I don't know if they'll be included in the podcast, but again, they'll be preserved in all their smutty glory on the full show.
I think they'll be included and enhanced with maybe just some completely irrelevant swear words and dirty imagery, which will be good for our listenership.
You need your brain cleaned out by some sort of contemporary chimney sweep who would shove a big brush up your chimney and get rid of all the smut.
So to speak.
And it will come out each of your nostrils.
But Joe, nice to have you back, man.
Hey, thanks a lot.
It's quite nice to be back.
I miss the sunshine, but it's nice to be home with all my friends.
And Garth Jennings, have you enjoyed being on the show this week?
I have, and I think my presence has made people value you more.
In a way, by hearing how sort of mediocre I was, people suddenly went, bring back Joe.
Oh, that's a lot of texts I was getting.
It's not a bad thing.
I've had a great time, but people now value you a bit more.
They appreciate you more, and I think before they took you for granted.
Well, they're stupid.
And Buxton, are you looking forward to maybe being back in your cupboard one day?
Back in the Six Music cupboard?
No, back in the Norwich cupboard.
No, I don't ever want to come back to the Norwich cupboard.
Is there a smell in there?
No, it's just really, there's like a, I don't like the microphone, the headphones don't really work, people keep poking their heads in and looking annoyed that I'm here sat in the tape cupboard, they want to get things out of the tape cupboard.
I would have thought they'd be excited that a big DJ from London has come up to use their cupboard, or is that condescending?
No, they don't know who or what I am and why I'm there, so I want to avoid being in the Norwich broom cupboard, as much as I love Norwich,
at all possible but next week i will be in london doing the show as normal with you joe very exciting so here for you now are the highlights of this week's adam and joe and garth radio show hello and welcome to the big british castle we hope you're having lots of jolly fun please obey the rules when you're inside the castle or we'll jolly have to throw you jolly out of
This is Joe Cornish here in the studio in London.
I'm also joined by Garth Jennings.
Giggling fool, Garth Jennings.
Not at all.
As if that wasn't enough, we have also got Adam Buxton coming live down the line from a small cupboard somewhere in Norfolk, Norwich, is that right?
Hello, Adam.
Yes, that's correct.
Hello, how you doing, man?
Can you hear me alright?
Yeah, you sound a little bit yoghurt potty.
Well, I'll tell you exactly where I am.
I'm in a yoghurt pot, so that could explain it.
It's a giant yoghurt pot though, it's like a little broom cupboard because the BBC couldn't stretch to an actual radio studio apparently for this live link-up.
So I am literally in the tape cupboard in BBC Norwich, where they keep the 64-minute DV cam tapes.
I'm looking through some of them now.
I bet you're doing more than looking through them.
I bet quite a few are going to fall into your bag.
Some of them I'm going to steal.
Can you get some for me?
Yeah, sure.
I don't think... They're untitled, actually, so I might have to... I'm just going to sit here and watch a few of them.
There's a few... Wow, there's loads of little tapes here.
full of old bits of crap and I'm here in this broom cupboard and I've got one of those mics that sports commentators use with a little lip guard thingy.
Have you really?
So are you holding it to your face now?
Well, I'm not actually holding it, because I don't want to have the spittle of a sports presenter caressing my top lip.
Spottle it's called.
Sportle.
Sportle.
So I'm trying to keep the sportle away from my actual face, so I'm holding it a little bit away.
Does it sound better when I hold it closer like that?
Oh, yeah, it's much more like a racing guy.
And Adam, obviously, is in his cupboard in Norwich, so he can't see what we're doing here in London.
You've got no computer screens or video screens.
It's sort of like Mr. and Mrs., right?
You're in the isolation booth.
I should explain why I'm in the isolation booth.
No, you said it right the first time.
Isolation.
Isolation.
It's because, basically, things are going to be back to normal next week, listeners, I can assure you.
You're going to be there, right, Joe?
Sure I am.
Sure thing, yeah.
I'm going to be back in London and it's all going to be like a normal show, but at the moment my wife
is expecting a baby.
A baby.
A tiny baby.
A baby.
A baby animal.
No, a human.
She's expecting a human baby, I think.
And it's overdue.
It's about a week overdue now.
So we're sort of waiting with baited breath and baited traps to try and get the baby out.
So I have to be on standby.
Get the baby.
Have you tried all the old wives things yet?
Yeah, tried all them.
Hot bath, hot curry, bath and hot curry.
Hot loving, all that kind of stuff.
And then if there's no sign by Monday, the time's up, they're going to send in their tear gas, they're going to start playing Nancy Sinatra.
and they're going to induce the thing.
We'll smoke him out.
But there's always the chance that it might happen actually during this show, in which case my phone will ring and I'll just have to leave you guys to it, which is why Garth is there really, just in case of that eventuality.
It's very exciting.
It's going to be an edge of the seat show.
This is Adam and Joe and Garth here on BBC 6 Music on a Saturday morning.
Adam coming live from Norwich, the home of the quiz of the week.
What was that quiz, the quiz of the week?
Sale of the century!
That's right, the home of Alan Partridge, where he's marooned in a travelodge.
All the big stars gravitate towards Norwich.
I have, I've turned into Alan Partridge.
That was good beatboxing though, did you hear that beatboxing?
Well I like the fact that... Yeah, it was almost like sneezing at some point.
You were doing some good sneezing beatboxing in the break there.
Have you ever met somebody who does machine gun sneezing?
You know, most people will sneeze, I think twice, isn't that what naturally happens?
You hardly ever sneeze once, you always twice.
But some people go...
Have you ever?
A friend of mine's mum used to do that on the drive to school.
That's more like Thomas the Tank Engine sneezing.
Well, it would be if you were a beatboxer and you had that condition, you'd be in great demand, wouldn't you?
Well, my brother-in-law, though, he does a brilliant sneeze where you never hear it.
It's totally silent.
I do that sometimes.
It's like a...
And it never comes out.
Apparently when you hit a certain age, all the sneezes you saved up come out at once.
That's rubbish.
Hang on, say that again?
All the sneezes that you've stifled... Garth, hang on.
Garth, this is the BBC, you can't just make stuff up.
This is the truth, Ruth.
You'll need this will be fact-checked.
Can I call you Ruth?
Yes, exactly.
I like it.
Say it again?
All the sneezes... All the sneezes that you've stifled will come out when you reach a certain age.
Rubbish.
Where are they stored?
They're stored in your chest.
It's rubbish!
How?
How?
It's true.
It's like a sort of, you know, it's like bottling stuff up.
Remember when Scooby-Doo would hurt his foot and he'd want to scream, but if he did, he'd be found out.
So he'd scream into a bottle and put the cork on the bottle and it was fine.
Scooby-Doo?
Scooby-Doo.
Joe's confused now.
It's alright.
When we play a record in a minute, I'll give him a little hug and a stroke his head and tell him all about it.
It's time for Song Wars.
The war of the songs.
Yes, it's Song Wars time here on the Adam and Joe and Garth Saturday morning radio show on BBC Six Music.
We've got Adam coming down the line from a cupboard in Norwich.
And, Ad, you're going to have to explain what Song Wars is all about this week, because I was away and all I picked up was it's something to do with remixing Radiohead.
Yeah, well that's basically the gist of it.
The prongs in question this week creating the songs are Adam and Garth,
And Radiohead made their new track, Reckoner, their new single, available on iTunes as split tracks, so you can download six separate tracks.
They call them stems, don't they?
Stems, there you go.
The bass stem and the vocal stem and the backing vocals and all that.
I turned my Reckoner remix into a kind of narrative about a couple of blokes in an editing suite arguing
about what kind of music they're going to use on their cop show.
You've been in that situation, right, Garth and Joe?
I mean, it's not necessarily with a cop show, but it's an amazing moment when you're editing something and you think, you know, the last piece of the puzzle is a bit of music here.
But then you have a, sometimes you have a bit of a standoff with the editor, right?
And the editor's got his own ideas and he's thinking, no, I think we should put a bit of MGMT on here.
And you're thinking, no, not MGMT.
Anyway,
So that's the backbone of this Radiohead Reckoner remix.
That's happened to me a lot and I've always wanted to hear a song about it.
Well good, today's the day.
There's two men sat in an editing suite working on a serious TV show about cops on the beat with swearing in it.
And there's a scene where things get really heavy for a minute, shouting, crying, big decisions, people dying.
But it still needs one more element to beef up the meaning, or it might feel irrelevant.
So the editor says, we need a really nice bit of music, Les.
And Les, the director, says, I know.
I got a wicked album a week or two ago.
You know, the one by Radiohead.
If we put some on the end of the scene, it'll knock them dead, Fred.
That's the editor's name.
And Fred says, yeah, I was thinking the same.
But what about the scientists by Coldplay?
And Les says, no flipping way, Jose.
Coldplay's flipping well yesterday.
And it's totally wrong for the scene anyway, Fred says.
All right, Les, you made yourself clear.
You don't want to use no Coldplay here.
How about a nice bit of Philip Glass?
Come on, Les, you flaming arse.
This isn't a science documentary.
You don't use Glass on a TV drama.
I would have thought that was Flippin' Elementary.
It's bad drama karma.
Come on, Les, I'm not a Coldplay snob.
I just think this track would do the job really well, when the strings all swell.
Yeah?
And the cops are looking out, all the bad stuff, and they're thinking, oh, why does this have to happen?
Every week.
And I was thinking we could add a little scratching for a bit of street flavour.
Yeah?
All right, maybe not.
It's really very hard to clear Radiohead.
It's got the BBC and it's very expensive.
No, no, no, no, I don't know if you know, but Tom's a big fan of the show, says Fred.
Les shakes his head.
We sent the band a tape a few weeks ago, said they had it confused with a different show, and if we want to use their music on any of the episodes regardless of the content, the answer is going to be definitely no.
But there's some good news.
Aha said yes, if you want we could use tape.
It's the only thing that we can clear up.
Why are you looking at me like that, Fred?
Wow.
I feel so out of touch.
I understood most of that.
Is the a-ha stuff... Is there a bit of the record that sounds like a-ha, anyway?
Well, that end is... The chords at the end of the song are so, like, take on me.
That was extraordinary.
Thanks very much, man.
So yeah, you know, that's a little narrative thing for you there.
So Garth, let's hear what you came up with.
Tell us a bit about it.
Well, I should tell you a little bit about it.
I was very lucky with this one because I actually managed to get an actual recording of when Tom Yorke first came up with this song in his shower.
So yeah, do you want to just play it and you'll hear.
You are not to blame.
Tom, are you nearly done, lovely?
I really need a pee.
Excuse me, darling, I'm busted.
I'm really desperate now.
Darling, open the door, lovely.
Come on.
Tommy.
Baby, don't make me go in the garden again.
Tom?
Bye.
You just stay in there, Mr. Rockstar.
I'm off to the rockery.
Goodbye.
I'm planning a trip to the cinema with my existing young sons and I'm a little bit nervous about it because we sort of rashly said, hey let's go to the movies and they, yay let's go to the movies, yay the movies, excitement, the movies.
But then I realised there wasn't actually anything on.
The only film that we've got available to us this afternoon for family fun is Space Chimps.
Anybody, has anyone seen Space Chimps?
Well, no, but it was on the plane, but I didn't see it.
But it's got Andy Samberg, hasn't it, from SNL, who's really funny doing the voice of one of the chimps.
So that's a positive.
On the downside, I haven't read anything about it at all, neither good nor bad.
But I'm thinking it can't be any worse than Clone Wars.
Have either of you seen Clone Wars?
No.
Oh my gosh.
We went to see Clone Wars the other day and I should say, first of all before I say anything else, that both the boys enjoyed it hugely.
They thought it was amazing.
We had to buy the book of the film, you know, like a big
Cartoon book and I've been reading that out all week at that point the council said to go and Investigate the trade routes and get the bounty hunters on our side blah blah kids love trade.
We love it They absolutely love all that stuff, but it was the first time that I have fallen asleep in the cinema sin Well, I think forever.
I don't think I've ever fallen asleep in the movies The only time I've ever experienced someone falling asleep
was when you, Joe, fell asleep on your birthday when we went to see Dune.
I fell asleep.
I went to see Dune twice.
I fell asleep both times.
And woke up at the same time both times, when the sandworms came up.
I fell asleep in the dark night.
But that is dark, isn't it?
Yeah, it was so dark and soothing.
Ah, terrorism.
Text the nation.
Text, text, text.
Text the nation.
What if I don't want to?
Text the nation.
But I'm using email.
Is that a problem?
It doesn't matter.
Text.
Yes, it's Text the Nation time, the nation's favourite feature as voted for by the readers of OK Magazine.
Is that true?
No.
Hey!
This week's Text the Nation premise is based on something I sort of half read, so it might not be true.
Is that alright?
That's alright.
That's fine.
That's alright.
That's standard operating procedure.
Exactly.
I half read, in this month's Edge magazine or somewhere,
that Nintendo are bringing out a new Wii.
And everyone knows what the Nintendo Wii is, of course.
It's the super video game console where you waggle the controller around and it matches your actions on the screen and all that bit.
I don't have to explain what it is.
But apparently they're bringing out a new version and people are speculating as to what the new innovation will be.
This is an innovation beyond
The pad that you stand on, the Wii Fit thing.
That's right, they've had the pad that detects your shifts in your body weight, you can do exercises on.
They've got the Nunchuck and the remote control.
So they've already got lots of innovations, but there's going to be a new one.
It's going to be HD is the first thing.
High definition.
Thank goodness.
Thank goodness, because I was fed up with those blurry sprites.
Well, absolutely.
It's depressing.
If it's not in high definition, it makes me physically sick.
Makes me feel like I'm blind or in the 60s.
Yeah, absolutely.
Have you been speculating on what that innovation might be then, Joe?
I have.
I thought it might be a car called the Nintendo Wheels.
And this is Nintendo manufacturing actual car.
And instead of a windscreen, it has tellies.
And it basically has cameras mounted on the outside that scan in the real world, but it translates them into cute little animals in little cars.
That's a great idea.
And projects them on the window.
So you can be driving along a real street, which obviously will be full of dog turds and people stabbing each other and terrible weather and all that sort of thing we're used to here in Britain.
That's a new phrase I've made up.
Broken Britain.
Broken Britain.
But when you're driving in the Nintendo wheels, all you see
Turtles and Mushroom Men and Little Pink.
Can I ask you Joe, at what time did you think of this idea?
10 minutes after I'd taken the LSD.
It's not true, I never take LSD.
I actually think that's a great idea, like when people would come and try and clean your windows, they wouldn't look so scary, they'd look like a strange little elf.
It's Mario!
Do you want me to squeegee your front window?
No, you don't.
I don't care.
I do it anyway.
You run over my foot, I sue you.
And also, if they manage to successfully work out this technology, a miniature version would be the Nintendo Specs, with three Xs, and that's a glasses-based version.
You just wear your glasses, you walk down the street, and it turns everyone in the street into Nintendo characters.
Well, you see, that one is probably closer to being realised.
I would imagine that's in the works already.
But the other thing, of course, is that, you know, in the military, and it's always about the military, they develop these things for the military first, right?
And then it bleeds across to video games.
That's the way it goes.
The trickle down effect of military to video games.
But what they're developing for pilots is stuff that is controlled by your brainwaves, right?
Pilots are able to think things and the brainwaves that their thoughts
produce are translated into movements in the actual plane.
But this is actually real, isn't it?
I've seen that demonstrated on telly with video games.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It can happen.
They've got the technology, right?
It's all real, I tell you, it's real!
Oh God, I'm falling over!
There's been an accident in Norwich.
Is that it?
You're just telling us that fact?
and it's powers thrown you off your chair.
It's okay, it's okay, everything's fine.
It's real, I've fallen over again.
Um, no, I'm just saying that that it could be something like that.
It could be like a, it could be just like a little box of electrodes and you jam them in your head when you want to play your Wii.
Look, basically you haven't got an idea, and you're trying to substitute just aggression for the lack of an idea.
What are you talking about?
That's a good idea.
No, that's an amazing idea.
Yeah, we've got a call here from Tiana.
She says she's going out tonight, and she's going to be wearing some shoes.
You've been to some sort of exciting awards thing this week, haven't you?
Some sort of exciting awards thing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it was.
It was very exciting.
Only a few weeks ago, we found out that we had been nominated for an award at the Lafters.
Not the Bafters, but the Lafters.
They're better than the Bafters.
because they're a dedicated comedy award organized by Loaded Magazine and the readers of Loaded Magazine, not the suits, right?
Not the execs, but the actual readers, the human beings, vote for their favorite people in comedy.
And in the end, we won Best Double Act, despite the fact that we have not been on TV as any kind of double act for a very long time.
But we had been honoured in that category purely on the strength of this radio show.
Wow, that's extraordinary.
Yeah, exactly.
So thank you very much indeed to the readers of Loaded magazine.
It was a great honour.
Although it was a little bit of a humbling experience, I went along to the ceremony and no one really knew who the heck I was or what I was doing there.
Joe, you weren't able to come because you were otherwise indisposed.
But I went along and I was pushed in front of the photographers with my award.
And the first, like a big fat photographer man just said, who are you?
To start off with.
I don't know who you are, but look over here, he says.
That's good.
That's recognition of a kind.
I guess.
He recognized me as an object.
A man.
Exactly.
You human.
But it was nice to see like there was a couple of friendly faces there.
Harry Enfield was there.
He was picking up like a lifetime achievement award.
I mean, there was a slight whiff of
of whoever was going to turn up, they were going to reward kind of thing.
At least that was a joke that Jimmy Carr made.
I don't think it was the case.
It was an amazing honour.
Plus the statuettes you got were really nice and heavy.
You could really mug someone with them.
Wow, that's our second statuette.
How long have we been doing this?
13 years or something?
Something like that.
Yeah, we only ever won another award at the beginning of our career, an RTS award, but they only gave us one, and if we wanted to have one each, we had to purchase another at the cost of about 120 quid, I think they were, despite the fact that they were just sort of perspex obelisks, weren't they?
These ones, the Lafters, were a combination of expensive metal, all beautifully carved, and what looks like marble,
It's really a high-end award product.
But Adam, you're skipping over the actual ceremony and what table you were sat at and what sort of a speech you made, because presumably you had to go up and accept this thing, right?
Well, I was up second, so I didn't really have much time to think of anything.
I went up there and I basically read through some ideas that I jotted down on the train for various things you can do when you accept an award.
A lot of which I can't say because I peppered them with expletives because I thought that would go down well.
Loaded readers love expletives.
Yeah, exactly.
But I said, okay, here's some ideas I got for what I should do if I win this award.
Idea one, act like I've just
won the Artist of the Millennium award, like Michael Jackson.
Did it go down well?
Did you get any laughs?
Yeah, I did.
It was fine.
I acquitted myself.
Polite laughter.
No, no, no.
It was good.
Genuine laughter.
Gales laughter.
Well, that sounds like a hugely successful day and a new high point for the Adam and Joe and Garth Juggernaut.
I think without me, you wouldn't have stood a chance.
Yeah, you should have been there really, Garth, accepting there with- It's really my award, we all know that, right?
It is, isn't it?
Who can argue that this isn't one of the greatest programs in the world?
Nobody, right?
Hello, this is Amy Winehouse.
I just want to say I really like the podcast.
It's cheering me right up.
Just listening to the news on Radio 4, you know, they always, like, they seem to have one eyebrow permanently raised a lot of the time, at the way the world is, quite rightly, a lot of the time, you know?
but one of the stories that they were sort of amused audibly by yesterday was the fact that a trucker somewhere in the UK had been followed by the cops for about 12 miles or spotted weaving around from lane to lane on the motorway, right?
And when they finally caught up with this guy, they saw that he was illuminated in his cab.
This was late at night.
by the glow of a laptop that he had set up on his dashboard, and the guy was just, according to the radio, watching episodes of the cult 70s science fiction television programme, Battlestar Galactica.
Well, it is good.
It's not good though, is it?
I mean, it's a load of rubbish.
But they were making a point of saying the cult 70s science fiction programme.
So I'm assuming that it was the old one and not the new one that the guy was watching.
Because that would put a different spin on the story, I was thinking, right?
I mean, Joe, I don't think you've seen the updated Battlestar Galactica, have you?
No, but everyone says it's terribly good.
It's all political, isn't it?
And contemporary in its resonance and relevance.
So we're told.
It's certainly a little more cutting edge than the old series used to be.
you know, you wouldn't, I would be surprised to find a trucker, well, you know, I'd be surprised to find a trucker sat there watching Battlestar Galactica of any generation on his laptop while he's driving.
It seems unbelievably insane.
He was found guilty of, actually he wasn't found guilty of criminal
of dangerous driving?
I'm not sure, but he was given a lot of hours of community service, I'll tell you that much.
I should hope so.
You know what?
It's something I've seen as well in London.
Watching television and driving, do not mix.
Doing anything while you're driving.
You're not supposed to eat.
You need to have absolute attention on the road and the mirrors.
Yep, it's all about being safe.
And there's, you know, even if you're the safest driver in the world, the most frightening thing on the road is other people.
Mind the Gap
We were talking earlier as well about a Lost Prince album that somebody was telling me about in America apparently he made an album in a sort of androgynous character as a lady and some of the tracks from Sign of the Times came from that album and Victor has emailed in to say hi Adam in Norwich and Joe and Garth in Londinium I think the record's called Crystal Ball and the nom de plume Prince adopted was Camille
Several songs from the sign of the times originated from this project including you got the look and strange relationship as well as if I was your girlfriend Strange relationship.
I thought crystal ball was an official album.
I thought it was as well.
I remember it in the shops I can picture the cover.
Yeah So it's getting even more intriguing as the story develops
Maybe you could have a look in some radio shops in Norwich, Adam.
Oh, get right on it!
Well, I think it's exciting that there's a Prince album out there that I haven't heard.
With him dressed as a lady.
For me, that's exciting.
That's been released, but I just haven't heard of.
Have you heard of an album called Parade as well?
That's a good one.
Just now you're just being nasty.
That's got songs on it too.
Who's only necking, miss?
The other day, I was watching The Wire.
I won't say what happened, but at the end of season four, some tiny little thing happened and I suddenly found myself sobbing, openly weeping.
And I realized this hadn't happened in a long time.
And I just I thought, oh, my goodness, I'm weeping like a crazy person.
And I realised I hadn't had that sort of thing for years, that maybe we've all become a bit cold and stuff.
I remember watching things like Babe and even Deep Impact and shed in many a tear.
I did actually weep openly in Deep Impact, I don't know why, it just caught me off guard.
When Taya Leone gets 69ed, 68ed rather, I laugh and laugh.
When she's on the beach hugging her daddy and the massive wave comes in and sweeps them away, doesn't it?
Isn't that what happens?
Yeah, did I say 68?
86 is the face.
89?
You laugh at that, Adam.
No, it's always a pleasure to see Taya Leone being dispatched, as far as I'm concerned.
See, I found all that deeply moving.
It was when Morgan Freeman said, oh, millions of you will die.
It's a very manipulative film.
There's a horrible scene where a little baby is prized away from the arms of its mother by the
by the son that has to ride off on his motorbike, and the mother says, take the baby, goodbye, and they know they'll never see each other again.
It's just horrible.
It's like a nightmare.
But I haven't had that sort of emotional experience for ages, until now, until the thing happened in the wire.
Do you lot ever cry much?
You don't seem like criers to me.
No, God.
No, every lady men cry.
Yeah, I think you're a...
I tell you what used to make me cry was Cilla Black's heart, no, Esther Ranson, one of the ladies, telly ladies, it was called Hearts of Gold.
Do you remember that?
I think that was Ranson, yeah.
Ranson, and she used to reunite long lost relatives, and it was sort of like emotional pornography.
just people with, in terrible, terrible circumstances, brought together with the power of telemoney, flown halfway across the world, simply just to hug and cry.
And the hugging and crying would go on for, you know, three or four minutes, with slow zooms into the gushing eyeballs, Esther tilting her head this way and that, Esther sobbing as well.
But apparently, that is a sign of being psychologically disturbed.
if you only cry at things that happen to other people and not at your own life apparently that's uh i think you're a bit you got problems in the noggin
Yes, it's text the nation time here on the Adam and Jo and Garth radio show on BBC Six Music.
We've been asking you to send in ideas to innovate the video games world, to see if you can come up with gimmicks to beat the Nintendo Wii waggly controller kind of thing.
What about, this comes from Daniel in Leeds, a Sony Prey Station.
A mat unfurls for you to genuflect on and then on-screen messages of spiritual enlightenment help you to do the praying.
That's good because you could actually then have visions.
That is good cause.
They could give you proper visions.
You could watch the visions.
So Jesus would appear.
Jesus.
Or whatever.
You'd set it to what religion you were at the beginning.
Yeah, you'd set it to your religion and then you can actually get something back rather than just sort of hoping.
Yeah, you could go to different levels of spiritual enlightenment.
Yes.
And then, you know, you could save the levels.
Obviously it would be depressing if you came back one day and you had to go through all the levels again.
that you didn't save them properly, but that sounds amazing.
That's a ruddy good idea.
Well done, Daniel in Leeds.
Here's another one from Richard Henson.
It says, dear Adam and Jo and Garth, how about the Nintendo Wii A?
This is a special edition of the Wii, which is specifically for Geordies.
Possible game, Greg's Theft Auto, where you control a black and white striped avatar running around Newcastle town centre trying to amass as much sausage roll stroke pasty based carnage as possible.
And finally, here is one from Ellie in Bournemouth, and she suggests the Xbox.
This gizmo will function as a replacement partner for all those gaming widows who've lost their husbands and boyfriends to the lure of online gaming.
The Xbox will engage in friendly conversation throughout the course of an evening, then come to bed at a sensible time.
for all those boys and gentlemen who are single, but who would like to recreate the relationship experience of having their gaming punctuated by huffy and spiky questions from their wife stroke girlfriend about how much longer they're going to spend on that flippin' game, may I suggest The Weedo?
Like widow.
That's a good idea.
That's good, isn't it, Ellie?
A lot of very good thinking there.
She's got wordplay, she's thought it through, she's got all the details.
These are your fans.
How about the reverse of that idea and it's just called a sex box?
You've already suggested that, Adam.
Well, I'm suggesting it again!
Stop it!
Norwich has made your mind go filthy, what with your new interpretation of the Deep Impact, Taylor Leone death scene.
It's all become quite colourful and erotic this morning.
Why did I have that?
That's terrible, isn't it?
86th is the phrase we've been talking about.
Anyway, carry on.
That would be a better idea.
It would be a fun scene, though, the way I've imagined it.
Yeah, it would be quite a way to go, considering she's standing there with her dad.
Easy!
Well, that was the highlights of this week's Adam and Jo show on BBC 6 Music.
A technical challenge this week with three voices, including Garth Jennings.
We could have fallen into all kind of radio no-no pitfall holes, like crashing each other, talking over each other.
We did that a little bit.
Well, I keep looking at you with those sort of, you know, waiting for you to stop talking.
I'm getting better at it, but of course... I never will stop talking.
But that's me done now.
I'm off.
It's over to you guys.
You're on your own again now.
It's very sad, Garth.
I'll miss you.
Well, cheers, Garth.
We've really appreciated having you filling in, and it's been amazing.
And the one thing I won't miss, actually, is being beaten in Song Wars, which I think might happen again this time, because you came up with a fantastic contribution for Reckon.
You've beaten me twice in Song Wars, and I think it might happen a third time.
Wow.
So get out and stop it.
No, you're welcome back any time, man.
Go and make another hit movie.
I'll do my best.
Why don't you go and make another one of your clever videos?
Something wacky.
Yeah, stop wasting your time here.
I'll do my best, yeah.
And we'll be back with you next Saturday morning between 9am and noon on BBC Six Music, so don't forget to tune in then.
And if you do forget, that's fine.
And don't forget, of course, that you can listen to the whole programme again via Listen Again, or the iPlayer.
And what an amazing thing the iPlayer is.
I couldn't think of anything to say there.
And so I felt like I was leading towards like a little punchline.
I wasn't like trying to bring down the iPlayer.
I just felt like it needed a bit of punctuation.
So I went for the raspberry.
How was that?
So there you go.
Have a good week, listeners.
Cheerio.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye-bye.